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Thousands of Students Protest against ID Laws
Atlanta, GA – Twenty thousand teenagers skipped school on Tuesday protesting against all ID laws.
Jul 21, 20211 min read
Victorian Lockdown Applies to Astronauts
Melbourne, Australia – The Premier of Victoria, Dan Andrews, has announced that the latest lockdown will be extended...
Jul 19, 20211 min read
Macron: “Vaccinations actually for protection against Germans”
Macron: “...the vaccinations are not really for COVID. It’s actually for protection against Germans.”
Jul 18, 20211 min read
Biden Administration to Fact-check More Text Messages
Biden to fact-check more text messages, starting with the age-old and statistically common question: Babe, what’re you wearing?
Jul 15, 20211 min read
Boy Suspended for Confusing CRT with CVT
Charlotte, NC – A sixth-grade student has been suspended for confusing CRT with CVT.
Jul 14, 20211 min read
Fat Lady Exploded at Mars Spaceport
Mars Spaceport – A fat lady exploded in rage at the Mars spaceport yesterday after a heated argument regarding the latest lockdown and...
Jul 4, 20211 min read
Experts Warn of COVID Omicron Strain
Geneva, Switzerland – With the COVID Delta strain apparently circulating the world, experts are now warning of the next variant.
Jul 1, 20212 min read
Presbyterian Church to No Longer Offer Choice of Post-service Drink
Philadelphia, PA – A local Presbyterian church is to no longer offer the choice of coffee or tea after their services.
Jun 29, 20211 min read
Diver Who Identified as Skydiver Jumped Off Plane
Los Angeles, CA – A 10m-platform diver who identified as a skydiver jumped off of a plane yesterday.
Jun 23, 20211 min read
Local Church Musician Arrested
St Paul, MN – A professional drummer who plays for a local church has been arrested for “disturbing the peace” in his neighborhood.
Jun 18, 20212 min read
My First Vaccine Passport
New item from the beloved company that brought us “My First False Flag Government Building Storming” and “My First Fake Inauguration Day”.
Jun 13, 20212 min read
Mysterious White Officer Shoots Random Asian Guy
Los Angeles, CA – Hundreds of residents in Reseda took to the streets yesterday demanding the arrest of a white police officer who shot...
Jun 7, 20211 min read
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (13–16)
I know it has been some time but here are cards 13–16!
Jun 4, 20211 min read
Evangelical Church Sued for Fake “Live” Album
Los Angeles, CA – Nothing-but-the-Cross Evangelical Church is being sued again.
May 20, 20211 min read
WHO Approves Drain Cleaner Injections
Geneva, Switzerland – Today, WHO listed drain cleaners for psychiatric healthcare and emergency use, authorizing the rollout...
May 8, 20211 min read
#LoveDumbAsians
Given the current sentiments regarding #StopAsianHate—and there’s a few of us Asians here at Opinyuns—it’s time I add to it.
May 6, 20218 min read
Democrats Accuse President Lincoln of Russian Collusion
Washington DC – The Democrats lead by the Biden-Harris administration are accusing another US President of collusion with the Russians.
May 4, 20211 min read
Firefighting Plane Considered for Pandemic Response
Sacramento, CA – Despite the millions of dollars spent in upgrading and maintaining the firefighting Supertanker...
Apr 29, 20211 min read
Ukraine, Russia, NATO Prepare for Godzilla
Kyiv, Ukraine – Ukrainian President Zelenskiy has announced that the buildup of Ukrainian troops in the eastern region of the country has...
Apr 25, 20211 min read
Mad Max Prequel to Begin Shooting
Brooklyn Center, MN – Another Mad Max prequel is in the works.
Apr 24, 20211 min read
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (9–12)
Here are cards 9–12!
Apr 20, 20211 min read
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