Los Angeles, CA – The American unborn are joining the Taliban in an attempt to stay alive.
One fetus said, “Between the pro-choice who think it’s their body so it’s their choice and the militantly pro-vaxx who think any body that’s not theirs don’t have a choice, I’m just ignored either way.”
Another fetus who identifies as a “baby” agrees. “Exactly, it’s like I either get removed in pieces by a vacuum cleaner or I get an untested shot if I get out in one piece. We’re not talking about infant baptism here, which one can just ignore. We can’t undo an execution or an injection.”
“What happened to the First Amendment or whatever?” said an embryo. “Just because I’m merely at the eight-cell stage doesn’t mean my views don’t count. Some adults probably have less cells in their heads and their opinions count.”
When asked whether they have considered other options that do not involve joining the Taliban, one answered, “It is admittedly rather drastic, but it’s the pragmatic choice; after all, they don’t seem to die out and are able to get away with anything. And if anyone complains, I’ll just call them ‘racist’ or something.”
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