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Confusion over “No Kings” Rally Ends in Embarrassment
Orange County, CA – A man who attended the “No Kings” protest in Anaheim was confused, then detained and subsequently got more confused....
12 hours ago1 min read
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Those For Papers During Plandemic Now Rioting Against Papers
Los Angeles, CA – As the riots continue in Los Angeles and other cities, some residents are confused by it all. “A few years ago, some of...
2 days ago1 min read
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Hospital Patient Identifies as “They” To Get More Food
Melbourne, Australia – A patient at a public hospital identifies as “they” in the hopes of getting an extra serving of dinner. “The...
4 days ago1 min read
5
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DS9 Protesters “Just a Bunch of People Having Fun Blowing Up Ships and a Space Station”
DS9 (FNS) – Many starships have gathered near Deep Space Nine to protest the expulsion of Cardassians from Federation and Bajoran space....
5 days ago1 min read
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Musk: Fight with Bessent Was Just Warm-up for L.A. Riots
Los Angeles, CA – In the fallout of the Musk–Trump feud, the tech billionaire has deleted some of his social posts regarding the...
7 days ago1 min read
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Expert: Leave Fridge Doors Open to Cool Planet
Berlin, Germany – Climate experts recommend a new practice to help limit the rise in temperature to under the agreed 1.5 degrees Celcius....
Jun 41 min read
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Man Relieved Hissing and Attempted Biting Was Just a Snake
Los Angeles, CA – A Californian man was relieved to find the hissing and attempted biting was just a snake. “I stepped out for a smoke...
Jun 21 min read
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Opinyun’s Magic Cards (37–40)
It's baby oil time! And that slap.
May 291 min read
5
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Hockey Player Confused When Fan Confuses Him for a Right-Wing Extremist
St Paul, MN – A young hockey defenseman was called out for being a “right-wing extremist” for occasionally playing as a right winger. St...
May 251 min read
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Cardassia Accepts Dominion’s Gift of 2,800 Luxury Warships
Cardassia Prime – The Cardassian Central Command has officially accepted the gift of 2,800 luxury warships from the Dominion. Cardassian...
May 241 min read
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No Voter Fraud for WHO Plandemic Agreement
Geneva, Switzerland – Mask Karens who cheered the 2020 US Presidential Election are again cheering at the results of the What Health...
May 231 min read
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Asian Boy Labelled “Right Wing” for Eating Fried Chicken
Detroit, MI – An Asian boy is sick of being labelled as “right wing”. Francis Cheung, 11, was being branded as a “far-right” and...
May 221 min read
5
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Opinyun’s Magic Cards (33–36)
This batch features drugs and the Reaper!
May 121 min read
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Spain Willing to Mediate for India and Pakistan, Will Bring Refreshments
Sevilla, Spain – Global powers have called for restraint and de-escalation as the military of India and Pakistan slug it out. “Let’s be...
May 91 min read
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Country that Demolished Nuclear Power Plants Wonders Why It Has Power Outage
Officials of Spain and Portugal are baffled as to why they suffered massive power outages on Monday. “I am pretty sure it had nothing to...
Apr 301 min read
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TSA Fears Purge Will Compromise Groping
Springfield, VA – A number of mid- and high-level staff at the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) are “concerned that they may...
Apr 111 min read
6
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Australian Election: Guy Who Falls off Stage vs Ex-Cop Who Kicks Ball at Your Head
Sydney, Australia – With less than a month until the Australian Federal Election, Aussies’ choices have been complicated by recent...
Apr 51 min read
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Man Gives Up on Making Prayer Spreadsheet
Toronto, BC – A man has given up on making his prayer spreadsheet after reaching 4,000 rows. “I’ve been taught to pray generally and just...
Mar 281 min read
3
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Man against Bud Light Boycott is OK with Destroying Teslas
Las Vegas, NV – A man who riled against “right-wingers” boycotting Bud Light has decided that it is perfectly acceptable to destroy Tesla...
Mar 231 min read
6
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Will Boeing F-47’s Weapons Bay Doors Fall Off?
Arlington, VA – President Trump announced on Friday that the development and manufacture of the Next Generation Air Dominance (NGAD)...
Mar 221 min read
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Trump Talks of “Domain Expansion”
Washington DC – President Trump has once again expressed his desire to do a “domain expansion” that will envelop Canada. “I love Canada,...
Mar 151 min read
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