Zelensky Announces New Curtain Business
Ukrainian President Zelensky has announced his new peace-loving initiative: a curtain business! “Thanks to all our international...
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- May 22
- 1 min
Republicans Just Glad They Got #420 in Biden Impeachment Filing
On 18 May 2023, some Republicans breathed a sigh of relief that they managed to actually file some impeachment thing against Sleepy Joe....
80
- May 17
- 1 min
Macron: Missiles to Ukraine Just Competing with the Brits
Paris, France – French President Emmanuel Macron has vowed to give Ukraine SCALP-EG cruise missiles. “We, I mean they, have got a big...
40
- Apr 26
- 1 min
Trudeau: Never Promised to Not Reduce Chocolate Rations
Ottawa, China – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that he “never promised to not reduce chocolate rations”. During a talk at the...
70
- Apr 20
- 1 min
Dylan Mulvaney to Cover Britney’s Hit “I’m Not a Girl, and Not a Woman”
After participating in the highly successful marketing campaigns for Bud Light and Nike, actor Dylan Mulvaney will cover one of Britney...
80
- Apr 6
- 1 min
Trump Charged with 34 Counts of Falsifying McDonald’s Receipts
New York City, NY – After having difficulty lifting fingerprints off his greasy hands, Trump was finally charged with 34 counts of...
160
- Apr 4
- 1 min
Trump Arrest Processing Fail Due to Greasy McDonald’s Fingers
New York City, NY – The processing of the arrest of President Donald J. Trump failed because of the police officers’ inability to take...
80
- Mar 23
- 1 min
Woman Orders Cow That Identifies as Mushroom on Date with Vegan
Seattle, WA – A woman who unknowingly went on a date with a vegan was in an awkward position about whether to order meat for her meal. “I...
80
- Mar 21
- 1 min
Astronaut Woman Asks Man for Space, Gets Blown Out of Airlock
Bravo Station – A woman has been blown out of the airlock by her boyfriend after asking him for “some space”. “I just wanted to ask her...
70
- Mar 16
- 1 min
Banks Dying Suddenly Are All Just Coincidences
Washington DC – The recent collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and the tanking of bank stocks are all just coincidences according to experts....
130
- Mar 12
- 1 min
Bank Ate Ultra-Hot Ramen, Causes Run
Los Angeles, CA – On Friday, panic set in just after Ripuoff Bank had completed its hostile takeover of Eongteoli Foods, the manufacturer...
80
- Mar 6
- 1 min
Lori Lightfoot Denies Working as a Gargoyle above Church Door
Chicago, IL – Since Lori Lightfoot lost her job, there have been unconfirmed sightings of the outgoing mayor. An unverified report, which...
70
- Mar 3
- 1 min
HK Set Meals with Pork and Carrot Soup Not Selling Well
Hong Kong SAR, China – Set meals with pork and carrot soup, particularly if cha siu bao (steamed BBQ pork buns) is also part of the meal,...
40
- Feb 28
- 1 min
Australian PM Albanese’s Mardi Gras March Not the Group Hug He Wanted
Sydney, Australia – Anthony Albanese has become the first Australian Prime Minister to march in the Mardi Gras parade. “It’s unfortunate...
70
- Feb 27
- 1 min
Queensland Roll Out Pill-Testing Sites for Recreational Drugs Only
Brisbane, Australia – Queensland will become the first state in Australia to roll out fixed and mobile pill-testing sites. “We don’t...
450
- Feb 26
- 1 min
“Deep Concern” China May Supply Russia, Says Country Full of Stuff Made in China
Washington DC – US Secretary of State Antony Blinken has expressed “deep concerns” that China may provide lethal support to Russia. “As...
30
- Feb 25
- 1 min
Trump Calls for All Presidential Candidates to Pass Stair Tests
Palm Beach, FL – President Donald Trump had called for mandatory physical and mental competency tests for all presidential candidates...
20
- Feb 23
- 1 min
Longtime National Threat Eliminated, Says Country Still Run by Plandemic Psychopaths
Canberra, Australia – Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO) officials say that a “hive of spies” had been recently removed...
190
- Feb 21
- 1 min
New Train Sim: Buttgouge Ohio Edition!
The developer of the popular train simulator series has released another title: Ohio Buttgouge Edition! This is the perfect game for...
230
- Feb 18
- 1 min
Man Realizes His Children’s Toy Money is Worth More
Los Angeles, CA – A father of two just realized his children’s toy money is worth more than his real money. “I got home from work and I...
220
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