Company Promotes Women in Office During Mass Layoff

Los Angeles, CA – A company is promoting and celebrating women in the workplace.

“We’re not simply interested in having women as cleaners or the average minion in the office, that’s been going on for decades; we want them to be executives and CEOs,” said CEO Cliff Dushpaggery.

Dushpaggery takes the innovative approach by constantly releasing company newsletters about women in the office and how much he wants them to be executives. “Well, maybe not while I’m the CEO but you know what I mean,” he added.

As a “responsible and responsive” leader, Dushpaggery is restructuring the company in light of recent economic difficulties to “secure the company for its shareholders in the present and the future”.

“We’re all for women filling the important boxes in the organizational chart, but we’re still getting rid of a lot of people,” said Dushpaggery. “Including women.”

Other sectors, however, are struggling to fill their ranks with women, such as ditchdiggers and frontline infantry.

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