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Yes-Man to Vote Yes in the Voice and Everything Else

Sydney, Australia – Joe White-Collier, a 36-year-old office worker, will vote Yes in the upcoming historic Australian Indigenous Voice referendum.


“I think half of my colleagues in the office are going to vote Yes,” said White-Collier. “Or at least that’s what it sounds like. I noticed many of them on social media are posting ‘Yes’ and all that.”


The referendum is not the only thing White-Collier is agreeing to.


Yesterday, his manager dumped a stack of paperwork on his desk and asked for it to be “processed” by the end of the week. The paperwork had been on his manager’s desk collecting dust for a month.


“I’m used to saying ‘Yes’ to any request,” and White-Collier, “I like saying ‘Yes’ to everything so I don’t offend anyone. It makes me a good person.


“This weekend, while I’m voting for the Voice, I’m going to vote ‘Yes’ to Ukraine and Israel while I’m at it, I’ll draw extra boxes on the ballot if I have to—I don’t want to come across as a racist, anti-Semite, anti-vax, conspiracy theorist. If I vote for Ukrainian nazis and zionists, then I’ve got it covered.”


Yes-Man to Vote Yes in the Voice and Everything Else
 

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