Ukraine | Opinyuns

EU Agrees to €90-billion Loan for More Cocaine and Washing Machines

Brussels, Belgium – The EU on Friday decided not to just take the frozen Russian assets and use them to fund Ukraine’s defense. Instead, it agreed to provide a €90-billion loan. “We were really hoping to just take Russia’s money,” said German Chancellor Friedrich Merz. “Let’s be honest, we’d already spent most of it on coke, washing machines, male strippers and coke. We needed to legitimize that theft and spending.” European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen had earlier v

Dec 19, 20251 min read

ICJ Finds Russian Counter-claims of Genocide Admissible

To the Zelensky administration and their fans who accuse Russia of committing genocide, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) is not biting. In Ukraine vs Russian Federation “Allegations of Genocide under the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide”, Russia has denied the accusations and made counter-claims. Regardless of whatever Russia has done or not done, anyone who has been half-following the party knows the stunts Ukraine has pulled sin

Dec 19, 20252 min read

Boy Forbidden to Riot, Disappointed

Nashville, TN – An elementary school student is severely disappointed that he has been forbidden from rioting after finding out that French President Emmanuel Macron had allegedly put a hit on Candace Owens. “I don’t get it,” said George, 10, of Cabalsville Elementary School, “I would’ve thought that nowadays a white man trying to kill a black woman is like the near-perfect excuse to peacefully trash the place.” However, George is willing to consider an alternative view: “I g

Dec 1, 20251 min read