Boy Forbidden to Riot, Disappointed
- Simian Practicalist
- 3 days ago
- 1 min read
Nashville, TN – An elementary school student is severely disappointed that he has been forbidden from rioting after finding out that French President Emmanuel Macron had allegedly put a hit on Candace Owens.
“I don’t get it,” said George, 10, of Cabalsville Elementary School, “I would’ve thought that nowadays a white man trying to kill a black woman is like the near-perfect excuse to peacefully trash the place.”
However, George is willing to consider an alternative view: “I guess if the black woman is basically calling the white guy a fag for marrying a dude, then maybe it doesn’t count?”
According to one of George’s teachers, that is not quite correct.
“It’s not that Macron is married to a dude, it’s more that he is totally chummy with Zelensky,” said Mr Analson of the history department. “They probably do a lot of coke together and Macron gives him his missiles… they’re shaped like penises and they launch them every day into dark caverns for fun. Some people want to support that.”
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