Los Angeles, CA – From those who brought us “ My First False Flag Government Building Storming ” back in 2021 is the first release of 2026: “My First Fatal Federal Agent Shooting”. The set comes with two high-quality ride-on cars. One of them has an electric motor and multiple bullet holes in the windscreen for the driver. There is also a BB gun for the ICE agent. The car is no ordinary ride-on car. The obnoxiously loud horn will sound continuously for at least a few minutes

Minneapolis, MN – After the fatal shooting of 37-year-old Renee Good by ICE agents, Minneapolis Public Schools have cancelled classes for the remainder of the week “out of an abundance of caution”. “We like being cautious, like putting tampons in boys’ toilets in case they need them,” said public school official Georgina Kantdrife, “so we thought we cancel school in case staff want to go protest ICE.” At least some Minnesotan students agree. “I think that’s a great idea,” sai

San Francisco, CA – Green Day has denied being “a bit gay” for having three guitarists in their live performances. “We don’t have three guitarists,” said Billie Joe Armstrong. “We actually have six, they all play the exact four-chord riffs while the bass just doubles up on all that. And we aim to be more like lesbians rather than gay.” Armstrong also states that to make up for the lack of gayness when they only have three guitars on stage, he uses extra eyeliner and black nai

London, UK – In the aftermath of Miss Finland 2024 Sarah Dzafce being stripped of her title for making the Asian “slant eyes” gesture, a new beauty pageant has been proposed. The new competition will showcase how good looking the contestants are when doing slant eyes. “I think it’s important that we uphold the principle of universal tolerance and respect,” said Beth Horship, spokesperson for Miss World Slant Eyes, “and this contest is the perfect platform to celebrate freedom

Nashville, TN – An elementary school student is severely disappointed that he has been forbidden from rioting after finding out that French President Emmanuel Macron had allegedly put a hit on Candace Owens. “I don’t get it,” said George, 10, of Cabalsville Elementary School, “I would’ve thought that nowadays a white man trying to kill a black woman is like the near-perfect excuse to peacefully trash the place.” However, George is willing to consider an alternative view: “I g

Detroit, MI – As the Illinois state government battles the Trump administration regarding the deployment of the National Guard, mostly...

To those who love electric vehicles (EVs) because it helps “climate change”, there’s good news: a study by Y. Yao et al titled “ Fine...

Sacramento, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom on Friday indicated that he intends to hold a “special election” that will allow him to...

Melbourne, Australia – Given the state’s initiative to collect machetes and the latest trend in the WNBA to throw green dildos onto the...

Sydney, Australia – A pastor at a local church preached that the lessons found in the fourteenth chapter of the Gospel of Luke do not...

The state of Victoria, Australia, has banned natural gas connections to new residential dwellings in which the planning permit was...

Orange County, CA – A man who attended the “No Kings” protest in Anaheim was confused, then detained and subsequently got more confused....

Los Angeles, CA – As the riots continue in Los Angeles and other cities, some residents are confused by it all. “A few years ago, some of...

Melbourne, Australia – A patient at a public hospital identifies as “they” in the hopes of getting an extra serving of dinner. “The...

Los Angeles, CA – In the fallout of the Musk–Trump feud, the tech billionaire has deleted some of his social posts regarding the...

Berlin, Germany – Climate experts recommend a new practice to help limit the rise in temperature to under the agreed 1.5 degrees Celcius....

Los Angeles, CA – A Californian man was relieved to find the hissing and attempted biting was just a snake. “I stepped out for a smoke...

St Paul, MN – A young hockey defenseman was called out for being a “right-wing extremist” for occasionally playing as a right winger. St...

Detroit, MI – An Asian boy is sick of being labelled as “right wing”. Francis Cheung, 11, was being branded as a “far-right” and...

Officials of Spain and Portugal are baffled as to why they suffered massive power outages on Monday. “I am pretty sure it had nothing to...

Toronto, BC – A man has given up on making his prayer spreadsheet after reaching 4,000 rows. “I’ve been taught to pray generally and just...