Newsom: Special Election to Redistrict This Burning Craphole into a Slightly Different-Shaped Burning Craphole
- Simian Practicalist
- Aug 9
- 1 min read
Sacramento, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom on Friday indicated that he intends to hold a “special election” that will allow him to redistrict the state.
“We couldn’t even rig the last election, so we gotta have this special election to help us with the rigging going forward,” said Newsom. “We can’t keep on losing so it’s a real emergency. It’s important we be able to redistribute this burning craphole into a slightly different-shaped burning craphole.”
Mike, 55, a resident of Los Angeles, is open to the idea.
“I don’t mind as long as there is at least one district shaped like a massive dildo in L.A.,” he said. “And it should be big enough to squirt something to put out fires.”
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