Minneapolis, MN – After the fatal shooting of 37-year-old Renee Good by ICE agents, Minneapolis Public Schools have cancelled classes for the remainder of the week “out of an abundance of caution”. “We like being cautious, like putting tampons in boys’ toilets in case they need them,” said public school official Georgina Kantdrife, “so we thought we cancel school in case staff want to go protest ICE.” At least some Minnesotan students agree. “I think that’s a great idea,” sai

Sydney, Australia – After watching the US military operation in Venezuela in which Nicolás Maduro was swiftly captured, an Australian man is wondering when the US will conduct a similar raid in the country. “I know our crime rate is not that bad and cartels don’t operate overtly here but still, there are plenty of criminals and commies, especially in government, who need to be dealt with,” said the man. Others share a similar sentiment given Australia’s traditional alliance w

Caracas, Venezuela – Former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has won a free trip to the United States. “We’ve copped a lot of flak for shoving people back to places like Venezuela,” said US President Donald Trump, “and I don’t wanna be insensitive to that, which is why I’m giving Nicki here a free trip to our country. And new tracksuits too.” President Trump clarified that the trip is in the spirit of the new year and not because Maduro is a “commie cartel-kissing fat tub

Whilst it is not outright bad, it is simply too conventional, predictable and lacks intrigue. Mackie and, to a lesser extent, Ford carry the film.

Brussels, Belgium – The EU on Friday decided not to just take the frozen Russian assets and use them to fund Ukraine’s defense. Instead, it agreed to provide a €90-billion loan. “We were really hoping to just take Russia’s money,” said German Chancellor Friedrich Merz. “Let’s be honest, we’d already spent most of it on coke, washing machines, male strippers and coke. We needed to legitimize that theft and spending.” European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen had earlier v

To the Zelensky administration and their fans who accuse Russia of committing genocide, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) is not biting. In Ukraine vs Russian Federation  “Allegations of Genocide under the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide”, Russia has denied the accusations and  made counter-claims. Regardless of whatever Russia has done or not done, anyone who has been half-following the party knows the stunts Ukraine has pulled sin

Pope Leo XIII (b. 2 March 1810 – d. 20 July 1903), born Gioacchino Vincenzo Raffaele Luigi Pecci, began his pontificate on 20 February 1878. His papacy is the fourth longest in the history of the Church. He is known for having composed the Prayer to Archangel St Michael and for the encyclical “ Humanum Genus ” on freemasonry published on 20 April 1884. The encyclical “ Rerum Novarum ” was published on 15 May 1891. It is subtitled “On Capital and Labor” or “On the Condition of

Defenseless country with strict gun laws to have stricter gun laws so that it can be more defenseless.

Endor (GNS) – Rebel Leader Mon Mothma has confirmed that the recent follow-up strike on the Death Star was “perfectly appropriate” after receiving a briefing and viewing the classified video of the operation. Imperial senators have been questioning the legality of the strikes and demanding the video be declassified and released. Over a million imperial personnel died after the first strike on the massive battle station. When the Empire built a second Death Star around the moo

The US Department of War has issued a statement reassuring all Americans—North, Central and South—that the recently issued NOTAMS near Venezuela are part of the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. “The NOTAMS are for all the fat turkeys that we intend to send to Venezuela,” said spokesman Vincent Bomdashiottau from the War Department, “because we love President Maduro and the cartels and we want our turkeys to get to them safely.” The effort is in recognition of

Starship Troopers  was first published as a two-part serial before being released as a novel in 1959. Written by Robert A. Heinlein, himself a navy veteran, this military sci-fi coming-of-age story covers Johnnie Rico’s basic training and early career in Mobile Infantry (M.I.). This review will make a few comparisons with the 1997 film directed by Paul Verhoeven with the screenplay written by Edward Neumeier. Is the film faithful to the book? More Yes than No. Like most if n

If you like the novel, then don’t expect too much. Christoph Waltz carries the show but the corporate and office satire and black comedy are missing. One wonders whether the writer understands or appreciates the source material.

Mildly sci-fi action-thriller. Has its problems but a straightforward and enjoyable action-thriller with good main characters.

Spy thriller with a guy who can’t shoot, which is refreshing. Solidly produced. Steady pacing. Some elements can be better developed; definitely not a bad film but nothing spectacular either.

Tries a little too hard to be dramatic but it is intriguing and captivating. Nicely shot and edited. Maintains tension throughout, BUT the ending is cheap and totally ruins the film.

Washington DC – Since the White House East Wing was bulldozed last week, there have been many criticisms of President Trump’s decision. The president today further elaborated on the decision regarding his plans for a new $300-million ballroom. “It’s not just a ballroom,” said President Trump, “it’s a hardened compound that also features a giant, multi-level McDonald’s, cos I want to be able to eat there, safe from assassination attempts. “Besides, I don’t know what people are

Washington DC – US President Donald Trump and Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese signed a multi-billion dollar deal to safeguard long-term rare-earth metals supply to the US. “China has a lot of that stuff but they’re not gonna share it with us,” said President Trump, “but Australia has always been a good friend, even if they are a bit gay.” The Australian PM agrees. “We need all the friends we can get,” said Albo, “cos we’re a big continent with lots of stuff in the

Even for those who are not fans of fantasy, Pratchett’s easily accessible style and clever comedy make his novels a real pleasure to read.

Alderaan (GNS) – Imperial Fleet Command has stated that the ceasefire agreement has come into effect. “We have retreated to the agreed...

Breaking Gay News: Piece of Sh*t Pleads Not Smelling Like Sh*t

Detroit, MI – As the Illinois state government battles the Trump administration regarding the deployment of the National Guard, mostly...