Trump Just Wanted to Bail on Dinner

Simian Practicalist
3 days ago
1 min read

Washington DC – President Trump and the Secret Service have denied that they again just wanted to have a group hug on stage during the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday night.

“We did that at Butler,” said President Trump. “I just wanted to bail on the dinner this time… I mean, I love some of these people but some of them are fake news. And the bread wasn’t that good.”

The president added that he “also really wanted to have that big, beautiful ballroom” but has denied organizing the shooting.

Meanwhile, it is unclear how the suspect managed to smuggle in multiple weapons and charged at a security checkpoint.

“Maybe it’s a pathetic attempt to copy the Las Vegas shooter?” said one dinner guest. “Or maybe he was just going out for an evening jog carrying guns as weights for training?”

Despite a thousand journalists and reporters at the event, details are still unclear as to what happened.