Tel Aviv, Israel – Beloved Knesset member Lindsey Graham, who moonlights as a US Senator, has sadly passed away on Saturday evening, aged 71. “I just had a 20-minute phone call with Senator Mitch McConnell,” said an aide, “and on behalf of the senator, we express our condolences. We just lost a great Israeli flag kisser.” In other news, online betting platforms are currently withholding payments regarding the bet “Mitch McConnell or Lindsey Graham: Who Dies First?” due to a l

Washington DC – Senator Mitch McConnell’s staff has reassured that the 84-year-old is recovering and intends to return to work “but probably needs to first ask his Chinese wife when she gets back from her trip”. “I think this cardiac arrest has done him good,” said one staffer. “He managed to fit a hundred 20-minute conversations in a 24-hour period, which I thought was impossible.” Despite doing more work from the hospital bed than he had ever done before, that was not his m

Sacramento, CA – Although too early to call according to some commentators, the California Governor race took a dramatic turn at 2 AM. Steve Hilton was leading at 27.5% when Ben Israel surged to 168.1% and Joe China to 164.2%. Neither candidate was initially on the ballot. It is claimed that black vans and heavy-lift helicopters arrived at various vote centers across the state with forklifts unloading numerous pallets. These reports are unverified. Local law enforcement has s

Washington DC – The intense standoff and the threat of mines in the Strait of Hormuz have elicited calls for the use of escorts. “I think ships will need lots of help from escorts,” said Professor Abweichler of International Affairs. “It’s a pretty tense situation so I think escorts will help. Escorts always bring some release.” Chevron CEO Mike Wirth tentatively agrees with the idea of escorts. “There’s plenty of oil, so there’s no shortage of lubricant. Just need to get it

Washington DC – President Trump and the Secret Service have denied that they again just wanted to have a group hug on stage during the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday night. “We did that at Butler,” said President Trump. “I just wanted to bail on the dinner this time… I mean, I love some of these people but some of them are fake news. And the bread wasn’t that good.” The president added that he “also really wanted to have that big, beautiful ballroom” but has d

Nicely shot satire. Could be more biting but still funny and enjoyable.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick was first published in 1962 and won the Hugo Award for Best Novel in 1963. It was his first novel to win a major award. The story is mostly set in San Francisco, about 15 years after the end of World War II in 1947. Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan had won the war and jointly run the world. This includes the US, which has been partitioned with the East Coast under Japanese administration. The narrative is written in third-person om

Geneva, Switzerland – Experts are warning of the new COVID strain detected in most countries, dubbed the “Hormuz” variant. “We’ve given up on using Greek letters or numbers, cos they don’t sound sci-fi and scary anymore,” said Professor Lenny Bollocks. Experts have named the variant “Hormuz” because they suspect the strain originated in Iran while exploding Israeli bombs made it airborne and spread it. The variant has subsequently been tracked in all continents. Countries suc

Sydney, Australia – Due to the continuing conflict between the US, Israel and Iran, fuel prices are soaring. Airlines such as Qantas, however, have reassured travellers that they remain as efficient as ever—at increasing airfares. “Jet fuel supply is volatile, blah blah blah,” said Qantas spokesperson Will Ripov. “We love it when someone threatens the fuel even if it doesn’t directly impact us, cos we can then jack up the prices—well, as long as they don’t shoot us down like

Washington DC – The Pentagon has reportedly ordered a second aircraft carrier strike group to prepare for deployment in the Middle East. “Look, Iran should be grateful that I’ve told Benny to shut up because he would like nothing better than to treat Iran like Gaza,” said President Donald Trump. The president, however, has again warned Iran that “there will be big beautiful ships that can do big things” while insisting that talks should continue. “But in the tradition of Pre

Washington DC – President Trump has threatened to use domain expansion regarding the matter of Greenland. “Well, don’t need to use it on Greenland right now, that’s a bit dramatic,” said Trump, “but tariffs on European countries who want to get in our way is fine by me.” Among the eight countries are the UK, France, Germany and Sweden. “Look, it’s nothing lethal, tariffs is a simple and not-too-harsh technique, but it’s a guaranteed hit,” he added. The president, however, has

Washington DC – President Trump has issued Order 66. “I have ordered the withdrawal of the US from 66 international organizations and treaties, including 31 UN entities or whatever they’re called,” said Trump, “because they’re useless, just useless.” The decision has sparked outrage, with some labelling it as “short-sighted” and “foolish”. President Trump, however, is unfazed. “People call me a tyrant, can you believe that? I mean, it’s not like I’m wiping out the Jedi. I’m j

Sydney, Australia – After watching the US military operation in Venezuela in which Nicolás Maduro was swiftly captured, an Australian man is wondering when the US will conduct a similar raid in the country. “I know our crime rate is not that bad and cartels don’t operate overtly here but still, there are plenty of criminals and commies, especially in government, who need to be dealt with,” said the man. Others share a similar sentiment given Australia’s traditional alliance w

Caracas, Venezuela – Former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has won a free trip to the United States. “We’ve copped a lot of flak for shoving people back to places like Venezuela,” said US President Donald Trump, “and I don’t wanna be insensitive to that, which is why I’m giving Nicki here a free trip to our country. And new tracksuits too.” President Trump clarified that the trip is in the spirit of the new year and not because Maduro is a “commie cartel-kissing fat tub

Whilst it is not outright bad, it is simply too conventional, predictable and lacks intrigue. Mackie and, to a lesser extent, Ford carry the film.

To the Zelensky administration and their fans who accuse Russia of committing genocide, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) is not biting. In Ukraine vs Russian Federation “Allegations of Genocide under the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide”, Russia has denied the accusations and made counter-claims. Regardless of whatever Russia has done or not done, anyone who has been half-following the party knows the stunts Ukraine has pulled sin

Endor (GNS) – Rebel Leader Mon Mothma has confirmed that the recent follow-up strike on the Death Star was “perfectly appropriate” after receiving a briefing and viewing the classified video of the operation. Imperial senators have been questioning the legality of the strikes and demanding the video be declassified and released. Over a million imperial personnel died after the first strike on the massive battle station. When the Empire built a second Death Star around the moo

The US Department of War has issued a statement reassuring all Americans—North, Central and South—that the recently issued NOTAMS near Venezuela are part of the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. “The NOTAMS are for all the fat turkeys that we intend to send to Venezuela,” said spokesman Vincent Bomdashiottau from the War Department, “because we love President Maduro and the cartels and we want our turkeys to get to them safely.” The effort is in recognition of

Washington DC – US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Operation Southern Spear on Thursday. “We’re calling it that because we’re gonna shove spears up the out-holes of the cartels,” said Hegseth. “And let’s be honest, it’s not just them, it’s also for those who traffic children, launder money and rig voting machines. Funny how no one talks about them.” Meanwhile, former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi has announced an operation of her own. “Just bec

Washington DC – A man is disgusted that his information regarding Ahmed Hussein al-Sharaa, the current Syrian president, will not be rewarded by the State Department. “There’s a $10-million bounty on this guy,” said the man, “and I couldn’t believe he was on TV with President Trump at the White House. I rang the State Department right away and told them he’s at the White House so go get him now.” The State Department stated that they are “pretty sure” that the bounty has been

Mildly sci-fi action-thriller. Has its problems but a straightforward and enjoyable action-thriller with good main characters.