Experts Warn of New COVID Hormuz Strain
- Simian Practicalist
- 8 hours ago
- 1 min read
Geneva, Switzerland – Experts are warning of the new COVID strain detected in most countries, dubbed the “Hormuz” variant.
“We’ve given up on using Greek letters or numbers, cos they don’t sound sci-fi and scary anymore,” said Professor Lenny Bollocks.
Experts have named the variant “Hormuz” because they suspect the strain originated in Iran while exploding Israeli bombs made it airborne and spread it.
The variant has subsequently been tracked in all continents. Countries such as the UK, Philippines, Sri Lanka and South Sudan have been hit hard.
The variant tends to empty petrol stations and make people want to line up to get more fuel despite that. There are otherwise no severe symptoms, although a small percentage of the population, the pro-zionist warhawks, have reported “very hard” erections while listening to the news of the Iran war.
“There is evidence that the virus is passed through petrol, including its vapor, and petroleum products, so don’t use them,” said Bollocks.
Experts are advising that it would be safer for people and petrol stations if countries lockdown. “For starters, I recommend a lockdown for two weeks would perhaps save some fuel,” added Bollocks.
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