NOTAMS Near Venezuela Just for Thanksgiving and Christmas Celebrations
- Simian Practicalist
- 3 days ago
- 1 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
The US Department of War has issued a statement reassuring all Americans—North, Central and South—that the recently issued NOTAMS near Venezuela are part of the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations.
“The NOTAMS are for all the fat turkeys that we intend to send to Venezuela,” said spokesman Vincent Bomdashiottau from the War Department, “because we love President Maduro and the cartels and we want our turkeys to get to them safely.”
The effort is in recognition of Venezuelan hospitality.
“They send us a lot of stuff like drugs, particularly Chinese medicine, and adult videos, and votes, so we want to reciprocate,” added Bomdashiottau. “That’s what good neighbors do.”
It is uncertain whether there will be action in or near Mexico given the amount of military assets in the region.
“President Trump said that it was ‘ok’ with him so I guess it’s ok with me too,” said Bomdashiottau, “but I don’t know anything about Mexico at this stage. We might use the turkeys to drop them some ham—not sure if President Sheinbaum celebrates Christmas or eats pork—but I would stock up on everything if I were you.”
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