Man Upset $10M Bounty on Al-Sharaa Will Not Be Rewarded
- Simian Practicalist
- 2 days ago
- 1 min read
Washington DC – A man is disgusted that his information regarding Ahmed Hussein al-Sharaa, the current Syrian president, will not be rewarded by the State Department.
“There’s a $10-million bounty on this guy,” said the man, “and I couldn’t believe he was on TV with President Trump at the White House. I rang the State Department right away and told them he’s at the White House so go get him now.”
The State Department stated that they are “pretty sure” that the bounty has been retracted and, either way, the man will not get any money for his information.
“I understand the concerns, but I’m done with killing American soldiers or at least blowing off their legs,” said al-Sharaa. “We won’t threaten Americans or their allies, just help us kill everyone else we don’t like.”
A White House staffer has denied the claim that Trump had invited al-Sharaa for his expertise in demolitions to help with the East Wing construction.
“The president wants to work with al-Sharaa regarding Syria which is more interesting than working with that pussy Madami in New York,” said the staffer on the condition of anonymity.
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