New York City, NY – After having difficulty lifting fingerprints off his greasy hands, Trump was finally charged with 34 counts of “falsifying McDonald’s receipts”.
According to the indictment, one receipt dated July 2017 indicated that he had ordered one Quarter Pounder, one Large Fries and one Diet Coke when he allegedly had at least three Quarter Pounders and two Large Fries.
Trump stated that “there were probably three cheeseburgers as well” and then pleaded not guilty to all charges.
The indictment also mentioned an incident in October 2017 when Trump actually had KFC, allegedly falsifying the receipt to make it look like it was merely one McDonald’s Happy Meal rather than a 16-Piece Bucket.
“They’ve been talking about my client’s eating habits for the past five years,” said Trump’s defense lawyer Todd Blanche. “There’s nothing new here. We all know President Trump prefers burgers whereas Biden likes licking ice creams.”
As if to prove the point, Trump’s defense had over one hundred burgers on the table in court. “Unlike Sleepy Joe, I can actually feed himself,” Trump added.
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