Pope Pius X (b. 2 June 1835 – d. 20 August 1914), born Giuseppe Melchiorre Sarto, began his pontificate on 4 August 1903. He is known for opposing modernist thought and as a bishop proposed a new catechism for laymen in 1880. After his elevation to the papacy, he worked on that and released a catechism. It was, however, only used in the province of Rome and other parts of Italy and not the rest of the world. The encyclical “Vehementer Nos” was published on 11 February 1906. I

Sacramento, CA – Although too early to call according to some commentators, the California Governor race took a dramatic turn at 2 AM. Steve Hilton was leading at 27.5% when Ben Israel surged to 168.1% and Joe China to 164.2%. Neither candidate was initially on the ballot. It is claimed that black vans and heavy-lift helicopters arrived at various vote centers across the state with forklifts unloading numerous pallets. These reports are unverified. Local law enforcement has s

Washington DC – The intense standoff and the threat of mines in the Strait of Hormuz have elicited calls for the use of escorts. “I think ships will need lots of help from escorts,” said Professor Abweichler of International Affairs. “It’s a pretty tense situation so I think escorts will help. Escorts always bring some release.” Chevron CEO Mike Wirth tentatively agrees with the idea of escorts. “There’s plenty of oil, so there’s no shortage of lubricant. Just need to get it

Pope Leo XIII (b. 2 March 1810 – d. 20 July 1903), born Gioacchino Vincenzo Raffaele Luigi Pecci, began his pontificate on 20 February 1878. His papacy is the fourth longest in the history of the Church. He is known for having composed the Prayer to Archangel St Michael and for the encyclical “ Humanum Genus ” on freemasonry published on 20 April 1884. The encyclical “ Praeclara Gratulationis Publicae ” was published on 20 June 1894. It is relatively short at approximately 5,

Washington DC – The Pentagon has reportedly ordered a second aircraft carrier strike group to prepare for deployment in the Middle East. “Look, Iran should be grateful that I’ve told Benny to shut up because he would like nothing better than to treat Iran like Gaza,” said President Donald Trump. The president, however, has again warned Iran that “there will be big beautiful ships that can do big things” while insisting that talks should continue. “But in the tradition of Pre

Washington DC – President Trump has issued Order 66. “I have ordered the withdrawal of the US from 66 international organizations and treaties, including 31 UN entities or whatever they’re called,” said Trump, “because they’re useless, just useless.” The decision has sparked outrage, with some labelling it as “short-sighted” and “foolish”. President Trump, however, is unfazed. “People call me a tyrant, can you believe that? I mean, it’s not like I’m wiping out the Jedi. I’m j

Sydney, Australia – After watching the US military operation in Venezuela in which Nicolás Maduro was swiftly captured, an Australian man is wondering when the US will conduct a similar raid in the country. “I know our crime rate is not that bad and cartels don’t operate overtly here but still, there are plenty of criminals and commies, especially in government, who need to be dealt with,” said the man. Others share a similar sentiment given Australia’s traditional alliance w

Pope Leo XIII (b. 2 March 1810 – d. 20 July 1903), born Gioacchino Vincenzo Raffaele Luigi Pecci, began his pontificate on 20 February 1878. His papacy is the fourth longest in the history of the Church. He is known for having composed the Prayer to Archangel St Michael and for the encyclical “ Humanum Genus ” on freemasonry published on 20 April 1884. The encyclicals regarding freemasonry “ Inimica Vis ” and “ Custodi Di Quella Fede ” were published on 8 December 1892. Encyc

To the Zelensky administration and their fans who accuse Russia of committing genocide, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) is not biting. In Ukraine vs Russian Federation “Allegations of Genocide under the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide”, Russia has denied the accusations and made counter-claims. Regardless of whatever Russia has done or not done, anyone who has been half-following the party knows the stunts Ukraine has pulled sin

Pope Leo XIII (b. 2 March 1810 – d. 20 July 1903), born Gioacchino Vincenzo Raffaele Luigi Pecci, began his pontificate on 20 February 1878. His papacy is the fourth longest in the history of the Church. He is known for having composed the Prayer to Archangel St Michael and for the encyclical “ Humanum Genus ” on freemasonry published on 20 April 1884. The encyclical “ Rerum Novarum ” was published on 15 May 1891. It is subtitled “On Capital and Labor” or “On the Condition of

Defenseless country with strict gun laws to have stricter gun laws so that it can be more defenseless.

Endor (GNS) – Rebel Leader Mon Mothma has confirmed that the recent follow-up strike on the Death Star was “perfectly appropriate” after receiving a briefing and viewing the classified video of the operation. Imperial senators have been questioning the legality of the strikes and demanding the video be declassified and released. Over a million imperial personnel died after the first strike on the massive battle station. When the Empire built a second Death Star around the moo

Nashville, TN – An elementary school student is severely disappointed that he has been forbidden from rioting after finding out that French President Emmanuel Macron had allegedly put a hit on Candace Owens. “I don’t get it,” said George, 10, of Cabalsville Elementary School, “I would’ve thought that nowadays a white man trying to kill a black woman is like the near-perfect excuse to peacefully trash the place.” However, George is willing to consider an alternative view: “I g

The US Department of War has issued a statement reassuring all Americans—North, Central and South—that the recently issued NOTAMS near Venezuela are part of the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. “The NOTAMS are for all the fat turkeys that we intend to send to Venezuela,” said spokesman Vincent Bomdashiottau from the War Department, “because we love President Maduro and the cartels and we want our turkeys to get to them safely.” The effort is in recognition of

Washington DC – US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Operation Southern Spear on Thursday. “We’re calling it that because we’re gonna shove spears up the out-holes of the cartels,” said Hegseth. “And let’s be honest, it’s not just them, it’s also for those who traffic children, launder money and rig voting machines. Funny how no one talks about them.” Meanwhile, former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi has announced an operation of her own. “Just bec

Spy thriller with a guy who can’t shoot, which is refreshing. Solidly produced. Steady pacing. Some elements can be better developed; definitely not a bad film but nothing spectacular either.

Washington DC – Since the White House East Wing was bulldozed last week, there have been many criticisms of President Trump’s decision. The president today further elaborated on the decision regarding his plans for a new $300-million ballroom. “It’s not just a ballroom,” said President Trump, “it’s a hardened compound that also features a giant, multi-level McDonald’s, cos I want to be able to eat there, safe from assassination attempts. “Besides, I don’t know what people are

Washington DC – US President Donald Trump and Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese signed a multi-billion dollar deal to safeguard long-term rare-earth metals supply to the US. “China has a lot of that stuff but they’re not gonna share it with us,” said President Trump, “but Australia has always been a good friend, even if they are a bit gay.” The Australian PM agrees. “We need all the friends we can get,” said Albo, “cos we’re a big continent with lots of stuff in the

London, UK – Prime Minister Keir Starmer is “really proud” to finally implement digital ID in the UK. “We’re about forty-one years late in ushering in our grand vision of 1984 ,” said Starmer, “because… because umm… we love free speech, which we’ve had for too long, I mean, a very long time.” The new digital ID system is intended to help combat illegal immigrants, particularly regarding access to government services and employment. “We know it’s easier to stop people from get

Breaking Gay News: Piece of Sh*t Pleads Not Smelling Like Sh*t

Detroit, MI – As the Illinois state government battles the Trump administration regarding the deployment of the National Guard, mostly...