McConnell Watched “Lengthy and Substantial” World Cup Games
- Simian Practicalist
- 2 days ago
- 1 min read
Washington DC – Senator Mitch McConnell’s staff has reassured that the 84-year-old is recovering and intends to return to work “but probably needs to first ask his Chinese wife when she gets back from her trip”.
“I think this cardiac arrest has done him good,” said one staffer. “He managed to fit a hundred 20-minute conversations in a 24-hour period, which I thought was impossible.”
Despite doing more work from the hospital bed than he had ever done before, that was not his most amazing accomplishment.
“He watched entire World Cup games, even the one with extra time and penalties,” added the staffer.
However, it is unclear whether the senator entirely understood what he was watching.
“Like some of those penalties, he probably missed the point,” said another aide. “But he was awake because his eyes were wide open the entire time.”
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