democracy | Opinyuns

“No Place for Violence” in Country That Has National Day Celebrating Violence

Paris, France – In response to the escalating protests and riots across France, President Emmanuel Macron has issued a statement on social media that there is “no place for violence in our Republic”. “So what if our national holiday celebrates a false flag event of storming some stupid half-empty building and executing the Catholic monarchs a few years later?!” said Macron. “That doesn’t give people the right to riot!” The president insists that this has nothing to do with im

6 days ago1 min read

Office Worker Turns Up to Work on a Stretcher

Frankfort, KY – A man has been fired after turning up to the office on a stretcher. “It’s not that he turned up barely conscious in a stretcher,” said the manager, Mick. “It’s the fact that it’s his first appearance in like three months. He didn’t even call in sick.” The man is “pretty sure” that his wife did inform management but he admitted that she was out of the country “so she probably forgot”. Management is adamant that the man has been grossly negligent. “This is an of

Sep 151 min read

McConnell Watched “Lengthy and Substantial” World Cup Games

Washington DC – Senator Mitch McConnell’s staff has reassured that the 84-year-old is recovering and intends to return to work “but probably needs to first ask his Chinese wife when she gets back from her trip”. “I think this cardiac arrest has done him good,” said one staffer. “He managed to fit a hundred 20-minute conversations in a 24-hour period, which I thought was impossible.” Despite doing more work from the hospital bed than he had ever done before, that was not his m

Jul 91 min read

MSNBS: Israel Projected to Win California Governor Race

Sacramento, CA – Although too early to call according to some commentators, the California Governor race took a dramatic turn at 2 AM. Steve Hilton was leading at 27.5% when Ben Israel surged to 168.1% and Joe China to 164.2%. Neither candidate was initially on the ballot. It is claimed that black vans and heavy-lift helicopters arrived at various vote centers across the state with forklifts unloading numerous pallets. These reports are unverified. Local law enforcement has s

Jun 41 min read

Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein

Starship Troopers was first published as a two-part serial before being released as a novel in 1959. Written by Robert A. Heinlein, himself a navy veteran, this military sci-fi coming-of-age story covers Johnnie Rico’s basic training and early career in Mobile Infantry (M.I.). This review will make a few comparisons with the 1997 film directed by Paul Verhoeven with the screenplay written by Edward Neumeier. Is the film faithful to the book? More Yes than No. Like most if n

Nov 21, 20255 min read