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Senate Staffer Fired for What Government Is Usually Doing

Washington DC – A 24-year-old man, staffer of Democratic Senator Ben Cardin, has been terminated after footage of him engaging in anal sex in one of the Senate rooms was leaked.

“The issue is, of course, not about anal penetration or even the recording,” said another staffer on the condition of anonymity, “it’s that it got out… I mean, he is doing what almost everyone else in government is doing: f—king around and screwing the people.”

The fired staffer has since stated that he had “shown poor judgement” and “would never disrespect the workplace”.

“If anything, I documented my activities a bit too much,” he added.

A staffer close to Senator Cardin partly agrees: “We usually try to hide how hard we are reaming this country but, judging by the footage, we tend to go harder than he did.”


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