Pfizer to Enter Online Dating Market
New York City, NY – Pfizer has announced that it will enter the online dating scene by starting its own subscription-based platform....
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- Jan 26
- 1 min
Adam Schiff to Run for Miss California
Los Angeles, CA – Democrat Adam Schiff has announced that he will run for Miss California. “We’re in the fight of our lives,” said Shifty...
50
- Jan 22
- 2 min
Australian Government: Massive Solar Farm Still a Good Idea
Darwin, Australia – It was recently reported that the $30-billion deal to build a massive solar farm in Northern Territory with a...
50
- Dec 28, 2022
- 1 min
Last Christmas, I Gave You My Carbon Credits
According to an article by Ian D. Rotherham posted on the WEF website, we should all stop celebrating Christmas. Rotherham doesn’t put it...
30
- Nov 17, 2022
- 2 min
Ring the Population Alarm but Don’t Commit Suicide or Anything…
Another one of those...
40
- Nov 13, 2022
- 1 min
Macron Pushes Online Child Protection so They Can Marry Someone 24 Years Older Properly
Paris, France – French President Emmanuel Macron has announced reforms for online child safety. “We have to protect our children on the...
70
- Nov 11, 2022
- 1 min
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (25–28)
Here are cards 25–28! Play a game while you wait for the conveniently slow election count.
60
- Nov 5, 2022
- 2 min
New Colored Domestic Bins!
In an effort to save the planet, new colored bins approved by the WEF have been introduced garnering rave reviews from celebrities,...
30
- Oct 10, 2022
- 1 min
Democrats: Reboot 90 Day Fiancé to Get More Migrants
New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé. “Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,”...
50
- Oct 5, 2022
- 1 min
Newsom: AB2098 “is about the environment, not medical fascism”
Sacramento, CA – Governor Gavin Newsom has denied that his approval of AB2098 has anything to do with impeding free speech or ushering in...
80
- Sep 21, 2022
- 1 min
Man Sets LED Candles on Fire
Los Angeles, CA – A local resident almost set his house on fire after setting alight his entire eight-piece set of LED candles. “My wife...
30
- Sep 19, 2022
- 1 min
Elizabeth Warren Tries to Claim Royal Blood and Throne as QEIII
Oklahoma City, OK – Senator Elizabeth Warren is claiming the British throne on the day of the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. “Lizzy the...
60
- Sep 13, 2022
- 2 min
Aussie Schools: Let’s Eat Bugs!
Apparently, snacks containing bugs have been introduced to 1000 schools across Australia. Rah!!! Granted, bugs can be high in protein and...
70
- Aug 20, 2022
- 1 min
California: Soy Sauce to Represent Diversity
Los Angeles, CA – The Californian government has officially announced soy sauce as the condiment that represents “diversity”. “It’s a...
40
- Aug 8, 2022
- 1 min
Why Woke Strategy in Entertainment Has Failed as Viewership Decline
Woke strategy in entertainment has failed...
70
- Aug 4, 2022
- 1 min
Emmy Nomination for Rebel Journalist Who Reported “Fiery but Mostly Peaceful Protests” at Death Star
Yavin IV (RNN) – Rebel journalist Ramo Zenemij is one of the five nominees for Emmy’s “Outstanding Emerging Journalist” Award. Zenemij is...
30
- Jul 29, 2022
- 1 min
Boy Insists His Homework Submission Is Invisible
San Francisco, CA – A student at Wakeham Elementary School has insisted that he completed his homework assignment and submitted it on...
60
- Jul 28, 2022
- 1 min
Disney to Reboot All Star Wars Films
Los Angeles, CA – Given the recent losses Disney suffered, it has announced that it will remake all Star Wars films. “I know some people...
280
- Jul 26, 2022
- 1 min
Protestors: Planet Earth Homophobic for Making Monkeypox
New York City, NY – In response to WHO’s declaration that monkeypox is a global health emergency, small protests have erupted in NYC....
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- Jul 24, 2022
- 1 min
Biden: “I am a cancer to the world”
Washington DC – On Wednesday, during a speech about the health effects of oil refineries and power stations, President Biden stated that...
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