It's been too long, but here are cards 21–24!

New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé. “Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,”...

Sacramento, CA – Governor Gavin Newsom has denied that his approval of AB2098 has anything to do with impeding free speech or ushering in...

Los Angeles, CA – A local resident almost set his house on fire after setting alight his entire eight-piece set of LED candles. “My wife...

Oklahoma City, OK – Senator Elizabeth Warren is claiming the British throne on the day of the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. “Lizzy the...

Apparently, snacks containing bugs have been introduced to 1000 schools across Australia. Rah!!! Granted, bugs can be high in protein and...

Los Angeles, CA – The Californian government has officially announced soy sauce as the condiment that represents “diversity”. “It’s a...

Woke strategy in entertainment has failed...

Yavin IV (RNN) – Rebel journalist Ramo Zenemij is one of the five nominees for Emmy’s “Outstanding Emerging Journalist” Award. Zenemij is...

San Francisco, CA – A student at Wakeham Elementary School has insisted that he completed his homework assignment and submitted it on...

Los Angeles, CA – Given the recent losses Disney suffered, it has announced that it will remake all Star Wars films. “I know some people...

New York City, NY – In response to WHO’s declaration that monkeypox is a global health emergency, small protests have erupted in NYC....

Washington DC – On Wednesday, during a speech about the health effects of oil refineries and power stations, President Biden stated that...

Los Angeles, CA – Employers of big and small businesses across the country have complained that productivity immediately plummeted after...

San Francisco, CA – David Uchikomu, Wakeham High School’s star outfield slugger, has been suspended for continuously hitting to the...

Hollywood, CA – The Matrix will be rebooted with the character of Morpheus offering the character of Neo abortion pills. “It’s important...

Today is Workers’ Memorial Day, a day when we remember those who died at work, probably due to the culpable stupidity and negligence of...

New York City, NY – Following Mayor Eric Adams’s vision for health and fitness, New Re-reformed Now-Truer Church of Jesus will offer...

Washington DC – In an apparent response to the US and Japanese navies conducting exercises in the Philippine Sea, China sent 39 warplanes...

Protests intensified yesterday at the ark construction site led by Patriarch Noah. The protests initially started at the patriarch’s...

We just earned our first badge of honor! We've been banned from Instagram!