Chicago, IL – Since Lori Lightfoot lost her job, there have been unconfirmed sightings of the outgoing mayor.
An unverified report, which includes a photo, shows Lightfoot working as a gargoyle stand-in above church doors.
Her office, however, has denied the claims. “Our mayor will not sink so low as work at a church.”
The church has also denied the claims. “The church is supposed to be open to anyone who is interested but we have no need for more gargoyles,” said Father Thomas. “I don’t want to have to call an exorcist.”
The gargoyle on the right of the main doors said, “We typically plot to have people wallow in sin, we want them to live and suffer but many die too quickly here in Chicago. She is not a good fit for us.”
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