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Well, at least you can’t say Bud Light’s latest PR stunt is false advertising…
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- Mar 19
- 1 min
Nazis Aren’t Welcome, Says Dictator
Premier of Victoria Dan Andrews reportedly said “Nazis aren’t welcome” in response to anti-trans and pro-trans rights protests on...
110
- Mar 6
- 1 min
Lori Lightfoot Denies Working as a Gargoyle above Church Door
Chicago, IL – Since Lori Lightfoot lost her job, there have been unconfirmed sightings of the outgoing mayor. An unverified report, which...
70
- Feb 21
- 1 min
New Train Sim: Buttgouge Ohio Edition!
The developer of the popular train simulator series has released another title: Ohio Buttgouge Edition! This is the perfect game for...
240
- Jan 30
- 1 min
Palpatine: All Jedi Who Died Suddenly a Coincidence
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The numerous Jedi who died suddenly on Sunday was a coincidence according to Chancellor Palpatine. “It...
120
- Jan 14
- 1 min
Grand Moff Tarkin Appoints Special Counsel to Investigate Princess Leia Classified Documents
Death Star (GNS) – Grand Moff Tarkin on Thursday appointed a special counsel to investigate Princess Leia Organa’s handling of classified...
30
- Dec 15, 2022
- 1 min
Pelosi Portrait Unveiled!
Nancy Pelosi’s official Speaker portrait was unveiled on Wednesday in a ceremony held in the Statuary Hall.
120
- Nov 22, 2022
- 1 min
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (29–32)
This batch features Danny the Commie Fanny, James Coma, Georgie Soros and Ramrod Rosenstein!
90
- Nov 15, 2022
- 1 min
US Voting System Reform Proposal: Two Counting Monkeys per County
Washington DC – A white paper has been released in light of recent voter fraud, alleged or otherwise, and the currently slow vote count...
100
- Nov 11, 2022
- 1 min
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (25–28)
Here are cards 25–28! Play a game while you wait for the conveniently slow election count.
60
- Nov 10, 2022
- 1 min
Sean Penn Hands Oscar to Zelensky: Keep Up the Cheesy Act
Kyiv, Ukraine – American actor Sean Penn has handed over his Oscar to Ukrainian president Zelensky in Kyiv whilst defying the US...
40
- Nov 3, 2022
- 1 min
Ice Cream Man: Not Voting for Us an Assault on Democracy
Washington DC – A man who looks and sounds like Joe Biden spoke on Wednesday about the upcoming midterm elections. Like the president, he...
40
- Nov 3, 2022
- 2 min
Cardassia: Let’s Declare Occupation Amnesty
We need to forgive one another for what we did and said when we were in the dark about the Occupation of Bajor. Cardassia Prime – Since...
110
- Oct 17, 2022
- 1 min
Pfizer to Supply Anti-Radiation Pills Pfizodide at the Speed of Science
New York City, NY – Given the increasing threat of nuclear war, Pfizer has announced that it will manufacture and supply countries with...
80
- Oct 15, 2022
- 1 min
Katie Hobbs: I Will Only Debate Kari Lake in Restaurant Toilet
Even as early ballots arrive via the mail for the Arizona governor’s election, democrat Katie Hobbs has yet to debate republican Kari...
100
- Oct 14, 2022
- 2 min
White House Sewage Pipe Explosions Will Not Stop Sh** Supply
Washington DC – White House staff announced on Thursday morning that there was a “significant” drop in the flowrate through one of the...
70
- Oct 10, 2022
- 1 min
Democrats: Reboot 90 Day Fiancé to Get More Migrants
New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé. “Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,”...
50
- Oct 5, 2022
- 1 min
Newsom: AB2098 “is about the environment, not medical fascism”
Sacramento, CA – Governor Gavin Newsom has denied that his approval of AB2098 has anything to do with impeding free speech or ushering in...
80
- Sep 19, 2022
- 1 min
Elizabeth Warren Tries to Claim Royal Blood and Throne as QEIII
Oklahoma City, OK – Senator Elizabeth Warren is claiming the British throne on the day of the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. “Lizzy the...
60
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