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Simian Practicalist

Sean Penn Hands Oscar to Zelensky: Keep Up the Cheesy Act

Kyiv, Ukraine – American actor Sean Penn has handed over his Oscar to Ukrainian president Zelensky in Kyiv whilst defying the US Department of State’s “Ukraine Travel Advisory”.


In the meeting with Zelensky, Penn said, “This is for you. It’s just a symbolic silly thing—the award from Mystic Cheddar or Milk, I don’t know—but if I know this is here with you then I’ll feel better and stronger for both of us to keep up this cheesy act whilst people are getting slaughtered.”


In front of multiple cameras, Penn then added: “But maybe you don’t really need it cos you’re pretty good at dancing like a gay man… Still, when you need to bail, bring it back to Malibu where your friends and maybe one of your bank accounts and McMansions are.”


The meeting then proceeded outdoors where Zelensky presented Penn with a plague on the sidewalk dated 24 February 2022, the date of the start of the so-called invasion, because Ukraine has the time and resources for this type of thing even during a war.


“I like Sean,” said Zelensky, “I mean, I like Jessica Chastain and Ben Stiller too because of my background as an actor, but I kinda like Sean more cos he gave me his Oscar.”


Best Western Lamestream Propaganda Performance
 

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