Campbell’s to Release New “Non-Racist Co-Exist Mystery Soup”

Camden, NJ – In the wake of the explosive recording of Campbell’s Company executive Martin Bally making derogatory comments about fake meat and minorities, the company has decided to release a new canned soup.

Campbell’s has fired Bally but understands that the “public deserves better from our iconic brand”.

The company is scheduled to release “Non-Racist Co-Exist Mystery Soup” which, according to the barely legible label, contains 65% cultured pork with the other 55% being cultured beef.

“It’s ‘cultured’ because we’re highly cultured people, and we’ll try it out first on our next-door neighbors in NYC where it’s multicultural,” said Campbell’s spokesman Jack Bacon. “We’re certain many of them will appreciate the mislabeled pork that’s not really pork.”

Campbell’s conducted a marketing survey of the targeted consumer groups in NYC by randomly asking anyone who looked a little “olive or brown”.

“I don’t care about those Muslims or Jews or Indians,” said Mikail. “I’m Armenian, I don’t like any of them, especially Turks, and I eat bacon.”

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