Washington DC – The Biden administration is continuing at breakneck speed in promoting “easygoing government”.
“Most promote ‘open government’,” said White House Press Secretary Jen Psurkobak, “but everyone knows that’s always a lie so we won’t even try that one. Instead, we’re going for the image of an easygoing administration.”
“Look at the way we… we helped the Afghan government transition,” said Biden during the press conference. “It was smoother than our election for sure. And that guy Trump is still complaining about it.”
Biden also cited the opening of borders, the closing of schools to reduce homework load and, perhaps more controversially, the latest approval of licenses for Huawei as signs of easygoing governance. “We can’t continue to exclude the Chinese just because they might spy on us… I mean, they got all my videos anyway so what’re you complaining about? We have to get along with and go easy on everyone… that’s why we want to go door-to-door about… stuff.”
When questioned whether cyber security will be an issue regarding the Huawei licenses, Biden insisted that existing safeguards are sufficient. “We have rules… I mean, it’s not like we’re approving an unsafe vaccine that may kill millions… Oh wait… I think I’ll just nod off now.”
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