The US Department of War has issued a statement reassuring all Americans—North, Central and South—that the recently issued NOTAMS near Venezuela are part of the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. “The NOTAMS are for all the fat turkeys that we intend to send to Venezuela,” said spokesman Vincent Bomdashiottau from the War Department, “because we love President Maduro and the cartels and we want our turkeys to get to them safely.” The effort is in recognition of

Washington DC – A man is disgusted that his information regarding Ahmed Hussein al-Sharaa, the current Syrian president, will not be rewarded by the State Department. “There’s a $10-million bounty on this guy,” said the man, “and I couldn’t believe he was on TV with President Trump at the White House. I rang the State Department right away and told them he’s at the White House so go get him now.” The State Department stated that they are “pretty sure” that the bounty has been

Tries a little too hard to be dramatic but it is intriguing and captivating. Nicely shot and edited. Maintains tension throughout, BUT the ending is cheap and totally ruins the film.

Washington DC – Since the White House East Wing was bulldozed last week, there have been many criticisms of President Trump’s decision. The president today further elaborated on the decision regarding his plans for a new $300-million ballroom. “It’s not just a ballroom,” said President Trump, “it’s a hardened compound that also features a giant, multi-level McDonald’s, cos I want to be able to eat there, safe from assassination attempts. “Besides, I don’t know what people are

Alderaan (GNS) – Imperial Fleet Command has stated that the ceasefire agreement has come into effect. “We have retreated to the agreed...

Breaking Gay News: Piece of Sh*t Pleads Not Smelling Like Sh*t

Detroit, MI – As the Illinois state government battles the Trump administration regarding the deployment of the National Guard, mostly...

…which reads suspiciously like the first draft.

The CIA Note “ Tradecraft Review of the 2016 Intelligence Community Assessment on Russian Election Interference ” was released on 2 July...

DS9 (FNS) – Many starships have gathered near Deep Space Nine to protest the expulsion of Cardassians from Federation and Bajoran space....

To those who miss the Concorde or the idea of civilian supersonic flight in general, there is good news. There’s no need to go into...

Cardassia Prime – The Cardassian Central Command has officially accepted the gift of 2,800 luxury warships from the Dominion. Cardassian...

Jimbo Comatose claims he doesn’t know what “86 47” means. Sure, let’s consider that as a possibility for a moment since this isn’t the...

Interesting read but true or not, country is clearly under attack: Just broadcast the ceremony from some bunker and get on with it.

Coachella, CA – In the aftermath of a man arrested outside of his campaign rally for using fake VIP credentials and possessing multiple...

Washington DC – Federal agencies such as the FBI and Homeland Security are recruiting for their “special operations” divisions. “In...

Butler, PA – President Trump and the Secret Service just wanted to have a group hug on stage on Saturday. “I think they wanted to group...

Complete list of assassinations/assassination attempts not executed by the “deep state” or “establishment” or “shadow government” or “them”.

San Francisco, CA – It is the policy of Wakeham Elementary School for each class to hand out a weekly award for academic achievements. As...

Boston, MA – A boy had difficulty choosing between playing with his grandfather or watching the US presidential debate on CNN. “Grandpa...

Los Angeles, CA – LeBron James announced on Wednesday that he and the Lakers will not participate in any playoff matches run by the NBA,...