New White House East Wing to Have Giant McDonald’s

Washington DC – Since the White House East Wing was bulldozed last week, there have been many criticisms of President Trump’s decision.

The president today further elaborated on the decision regarding his plans for a new $300-million ballroom.

“It’s not just a ballroom,” said President Trump, “it’s a hardened compound that also features a giant, multi-level McDonald’s, cos I want to be able to eat there, safe from assassination attempts.

“Besides, I don’t know what people are complaining about. It’s gonna have a basement, it’s gonna be great, these people love their dungeons and secret tunnels, and I’m giving them a bigger one.”

The president is also confident that other franchises will want to rent a spot in the new building.

“Many make fun of me, but then they want to do business,” he added. “Well, I’m happy for KFC or Burger King to have a presence. I’m sure the staff will appreciate the variety.”

Meanwhile, Kamala Harris has not ruled out running for president in 2028 so she can “actually work at a McDonald’s for real”.

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated that while Harris is free to run for office, there are “no plans to include bourbon in the McDonald’s menu”.

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