Palm Beach Gardens, FL – The Department of Justice has filed new charges against Donald Trump in addition to the original 34 counts of “falsifying McDonald’s receipts”.
Special counsel Jack Smith has brought in an extra 66 charges against the 45th President.
According to the indictment, there are 60 counts of “misclassifying” Quarter Pounders by using Cheeseburger wrappers, alleging that Trump was “probably trying to hide what he was eating from Melania”.
Five charges allege Trump ordered the deletion of surveillance camera recordings that show him eating the aforementioned burgers and, in another incident, “eating two buckets of KFC by himself as well as nine pieces of nuggets but with two sauces at midnight”.
The indictment states that each misclassified burger is an individual charge rather than treated as one because the DOJ “intends to compile the charges into a book that can be thrown at the defendant” and that it wants a hundred charges “just to make it a nice round number”.
The indictment also includes one charge referring to documents Trump bragged of possessing: Hunter Biden’s “war plan” to snort coke with a prostitute in every room of the White House at least once per week.
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