Washington DC – On Sunday, the White House grounds were evacuated after the Secret Service discovered an “unknown item” just lying around the garden.
“It’s looked a bit suspicious just sitting there,” said Agent Johnson, “I mean, it didn’t just look like somebody’s lunch while they quickly went to the bathroom. Or maybe it did, but still… a bit suspicious.”
A hazmat team was called in to examine the item.
Biden’s office is blaming Donald Trump.
“We think this item was sent from former President Trump,” said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Cos that’s just something he would do.”
Trump, meanwhile, has not denied the allegations.
“I’m not sure about this ‘unknown item,” said Trump. “I do occasionally send him saucy documents about him and Hunter which I know he enjoys. I also send him the occasional cheeseburger—you know, America makes great cheeseburgers, great stuff, great stuff even if half the cheese is stuck to the wrapper, we could all use one, or seventeen—so maybe that’s what set off the alarm.”
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