Coachella, CA – In the aftermath of a man arrested outside of his campaign rally for using fake VIP credentials and possessing multiple firearms, President Donald Trump now faces a dilemma.
“So how many assassination attempts is that now?” said Trump. “I’m not sure if I want more assassination attempts or impeachment attempts. The former is definitely not pleasant.”
Although he does not “feel the need to have these ‘badges’ just to show off”, Trump admits that he does like to collect things: “It’s a bit like those toys that come with McDonald’s Happy Meals. It’s nice to collect the whole set. I can use a burger right now.”
The authorities have stated that the presidential candidate was never in danger.
“I’m fine,” Trump added. “I mean, it’s a guy with fake VIP credentials, that’s just like dealing with the people I’m running against.”
In other news, McDonald’s has not responded to requests for comments on whether they will produce toys to commemorate President Trump’s assassination and impeachment attempts.
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