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Tucker Carlson Better Watch His A** with Zelensky

Woodstock, ME – It has been reported that Tucker Carlson secured an interview with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky which the office of the latter has since denied.

“I was looking forward to that,” said Bob, 43, a resident of Philadelphia. “I appreciated that Tucker gave Putin the opportunity to speak and it’s only fair to give Zelensky the same.”

Some, however, are concerned for Mr Carlson himself.

“Putin may have had a journalist or two taken out but he at least has enough class to be civil with Tucker,” said Evelyn, 55, of Houston. “Not sure about Zelensky though. Tucker better watch his ass.”

Al Lockwood, a professor of international relations, agrees with that sentiment. “Tucker really has to watch his ass because it’s no secret that Zelensky likes grabbing them, and probably doing other things too. Just ask Macron.”

Professor Lockwood recommends that if Tucker Carlson ever interviews Zelensky, he better pick “friendly territory” and wear pants “that are really hard to take off”.


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