Canberra, Australia – Australian PM Anthony Albanese re-affirmed support for Ukraine in light of the US decision to supply tanks.
“I know we’re a small country with merely 25 million people and a tinpot military,” said Albanese, “and it’s not like we can afford to give Ukraine anything but we have to be woke and at least pretend.”
Deputy PM and Defense Minister Richard Marles announced plans to send eight thousand tons of Vegemite to Ukraine.
“It’s very nutritious, we have plenty of it,” said Marles, “and Ukraine can have it cos that stuff is horrid. We certainly don’t want it.”
Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov warned that such a move is considered a red line by Moscow: “We are already dealing with no few bioweapons labs in Ukraine. Any Vegemite in the region will be an even more serious biohazard and we will respond accordingly.”
Prime Minister Albanese, however, is not too concerned. “Maybe the US will give us tanks if Russia or anyone does anything. We only have like sixty,” he said.
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