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Winnipeg Jets Renamed to Kyiv Jets

Winnipeg, MB – As part of the effort to supply Ukraine with F-16 fighter jets, the Winnipeg Jets have announced that they will be renamed to the Kyiv Jets.


“We can’t just have Denmark, the Netherlands, Norway and Belgium giving F-16s to Ukraine,” said team spokesperson Andy Jetzako. “Our logo looks like an F-16 so we should give that too.”


Kyiv Jets

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman welcomes the change. “I think the NHL and Prime Minister Trudeau has always set an example that Canadians should be proudly mainstream and woke and all that,” he said.


Meanwhile, the Australian rules football team Essendon Bombers has declined to change its name to the Lviv Bombers.


“After careful deliberation, and given the fact that Australia doesn’t have much of an air force let alone bombers, we decided to not even pretend,” said a source close to the team. “However, we can supply Ukraine with vitamins and supplements.”

 

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