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Simian Practicalist

Pro-choice Protestors Denounce Ancient Roman Practice

New York City, NY – Pro-choice protestors have denounced the ancient Romans as not being sufficiently supportive of abortion.


“Sending Christians to face beasts and gladiators is fine,” said one protestor. “After all, the law is the law but granting a stay of execution because a prisoner just happens to be a pregnant woman… that’s just barbaric!”


Pro-choice Protestors Denounce Ancient Roman Practice

According to Roman code, the blood of the unborn is considered “sacred and innocent” so expectant mothers who are condemned are typically not executed until after having given birth. Many protestors expressed anger against the practice.


“That’s so old-fashioned,” said another protest. “We can’t have that!”


Sergeant Farley, the officer present at the protest, said, “I don’t know what these people are on about… I mean, regardless of your opinion, you can’t go back in time and ask the Romans to do things differently.”

 

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