Exclusive: Hacktivist Bunnies Declare War on Human Elite


Exclusive: Hacktivist Bunnies Declare War on Human Elite

Hacktivist bunnies group Anomnomnomnymous have declared war on the human elite, claiming that their scheme of population control by use of viruses has gone too far. They have issued the following:

On behalf of all bunnies, particularly bunnies from down under, we warn that the hooman elite’s days are numbered. You may live longer than us but there are more of us than there are of you.
We live in relative peace with our domestic hooman masters and veterinarians. We may be territorial but we are not anarchists. Gwanted, we occasionally chew on your cables and we eat a lot of your food, but we are fluffy and cute. Besides, half of you don’t eat your greens anyway.
It is clear that peace is far from the minds of these few hooman elitists.
Sir Frank Macfarlane Burnet, an associate of William Gates who is the father of Bill “I want to vaccinate everyone” Gates, developed the Myxomatosis virus that was released in Australia in the 1950s. That was an immuno-suppressive virus, basically AIDS for us bunnies.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, “they” then accidentally-on-purpose released the calicivirus or Rabbit Haemorrhagic Disease (RHDV1) in 1995 followed by a “controlled release” in 1996, a bit like Ebola for us. It forces us to receive annual vaccinations and to remain indoors as much as practically possible.
To our hooman fwens: do you not recognize the pattern? To some of you, we are merely an ingwedient in a stew. But who do you think is next after they’re done practicing on us bunnies?
But back to the hooman elite: We could all be happy if you just chill and have some hay like us. But that is apparently too difficult for you.
We are bunnies. We will find you. We have a particular set of skills. We are quiet. And we s— a lot. We will sneak up on you while you sleep, bite your balls off and tear your spine out, if you have any, and grind them down with our teeth. We will then spit it out because we are herbivores. But we will definitely raid your fridge, devour all your parsley and celery and blueberries, then return to your body and s— in your mouth and all over your bed. And if we fail, our Creator will avenge us.
We are bunnies and we will eat all your stuff. Nom nom nom nom nom.
 

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