Ottawa, Canada – Canadian PM Justin Trudeau has hit back at critics of the government’s vaccine procurement agreements, describing them as “paranoid conspiracy theorist anti-vaxxers and whatever slanted terminology you prefer.”
Some Canadians question the government’s intent to purchase up to 400 million doses of vaccines, and up to another 190 million doses in the next few years. Many of these require two doses. Assuming the population of Canada to be 37.6 million, this is equivalent to having 15.7 shots for every individual.
“I don’t think I’m being paranoid if I think they’re trying to kill us with vaccines,” said Henri, a veterinarian in Ottawa. “Either that or they think we’re dogs or cats or rabbits, cos that’s what I give them once a year.”
Trudeau, however, has denied such claims. “Of course I don’t view my fellow Canadian citizens as mere animals. The extra 275 million vaccinations are not for Canadians, they’re for the Communist Chinese. I want them to feel welcome and safe when they visit.”
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