Chucky Helps White House Vaccination Campaign
Washington DC – A few weeks ago, the White House invited pop star Olivia Rodrigo to help its vaccination push, especially amongst the youth.
Although there were spikes in Olivia Rodrigo’s social media accounts, it is unclear whether there has been an increased vaccination uptake since. To maintain its momentum, the White House has invited other celebrities to help promote the vaccines.
The first to accept was Chucky who spoke at the White House briefing room wearing an oversized lab coat. “It might kill ya,” said Chucky, “but I’m gonna make ya all take it anyway, starting with you f—kers here. I don’t care if you are fat.”
Chucky then whipped out a syringe, leaped off the podium and stabbed a reporter in the front row. Everyone else then screamed and scrambled for the exits.
As Chucky darted in between people’s legs vaccinating anyone within his reach, one reporter was heard yelling, “Don’t! I already got my two shots!”
Chucky was heard to answer, “You look like you need a booster—you know, in case of the next super-duper strain or whatever. I’m wearing a f—king lab coat so I can’t be wrong.”
After the incident, the White House issued a statement: “No one died or was injured during the press conference. It was all part of the campaign to encourage the public to think about the vaccine.”
Meanwhile, Biden commented, “Things are simpler when it is a young female singer, I mean y… young as in eighteen enough, of course. But sometimes, we just have to settle for a homicidal doll. That’s just life.”
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