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Girl Awarded for Never Getting Awarded

San Francisco, CA – It is the policy of Wakeham Elementary School for each class to hand out a weekly award for academic achievements.

Ms Harrison of first grade, however, noticed it was always the same few students receiving awards. “I try to diversify a little,” she said, “so sometimes I hand out awards for personal improvements instead.”

Upon the department insisting that every student should occasionally get an award, Ms Harrison reluctantly agreed. “I suppose life isn’t just about good grades,” she said, “and good behavior of all sorts should be encouraged but I wasn’t sure about handing out awards to everyone.”

Yuki Tanaka, 6

Eventually, Ms Harrison noticed that Yuki Tanaka, 6, never received an award. “Yuki is a decent student, never top marks but consistently at B+ and very quiet, so she gets lost in the upper-middle region somewhere. So I gave her an award for never having gotten an award.”

Yuki, however, has mixed feelings about it. “I prefer to stay off the grid,” she said with a shrug. “I guess I have something to show my parents. May make them happy. But now that I have one, they may expect more… I think I’ll just go on catching up on sleep in class. Eventually, I might get another one for doing nothing.”


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