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Weyoun: Morphogenic Virus Leaked from Starfleet Medical Lab
After nearly two years of the morphogenic virus ravaging the Great Link, the Founders have again accused Starfleet Medical head Dr Fauci...
Dec 31, 20212 min read
Protests Intensify at Patriarch Noah’s Ark Construction Site
Protests intensified yesterday at the ark construction site led by Patriarch Noah. The protests initially started at the patriarch’s...
Dec 29, 20211 min read
Galactic Supreme Court to Hear Palpatine Vaccine Mandate Challenge
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The Galactic Supreme Court agreed on Wednesday to take up disputes over the Palpatine administration’s...
Dec 23, 20212 min read
Vaxx Pride Stickers
Although an individual’s medical conditions and procedures are personal information and therefore considered private, it’s interesting...
Dec 16, 20211 min read
The NeverEnding Story IV to be Released in 2022
Los Angeles, CA – Although the pandemic has made filmmaking more difficult in the past two years, this has not stopped the production of...
Dec 12, 20211 min read
Francis Declares Vaccines the Eighth Sacrament
Vatican – On Thursday, Francis convened the Vatican III Ecumenical Council in the morning right after breakfast, summoning any bishop...
Dec 12, 20211 min read
Pentagon Announces New Military Proficiency Policy
Washington DC – The Pentagon has announced a new policy for the training and testing of proficiencies of US military personnel. Instead...
Dec 11, 20211 min read
Northridge Mechanic Recommends Vehicular Vaccines
Los Angeles, CA – A mechanic based in Northridge has recommended vehicular vaccines for all vehicles. “We can’t be too careful nowadays,”...
Dec 4, 20211 min read
Californian Officials to Drop the Term “Gangbanger”
Los Angeles, CA – A Californian state government board on Saturday vetoed 11–1 to stop using the word “gangbanger” due to its negative...
Nov 29, 20211 min read
Biden “feeling angry and concerned” at Rittenhouse Verdict
Washington DC – The White House has issued a statement that Biden is “feeling angry and concerned” at the Rittenhouse verdict but...
Nov 19, 20211 min read
Shocker: Discrimination against Vaccinated at Vaxx Pride Parade
San Francisco, CA – The city held its first-ever Vaxx Pride Parade on Sunday. Tens of thousands turned out for the event with numerous...
Nov 16, 20211 min read
Biden Administration Announces New Social Media Platform
Washington DC – Seemingly in response to Donald Trump announcing the Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG), the White House has...
Nov 14, 20211 min read
ISIS Leader Al-Baghdadi Resurrected, Then Dies of COVID
Washington DC – The White House announced that the ISIS leader Al-Baghdadi was recently resurrected after he reportedly blew himself up...
Nov 12, 20211 min read
Study: Titanic Sank because Iceberg was Fatphobic
Los Angeles, CA – A study using the latest in computational dynamic stress analysis and modelling has concluded that the Titanic did not...
Nov 11, 20211 min read
Jar Jar Binks Proposes Unlimited Power to Premier Dan Andrews
Melbourne, Australia – Representative Jar Jar Binks has proposed an amendment to the Public Health and Wellbeing Act which will grant...
Oct 30, 20211 min read
Victorian Government: All Must Sign In to Use the Toilet
Melbourne, Australia – Despite Victoria having relaxed its lockdown restrictions, Premier Dan Andrews added that it is important for...
Oct 28, 20211 min read
White House: Biden’s Approval Ratings Still Higher than Vaccine Effectiveness
Washington DC – Biden’s approval ratings have dropped rapidly since taking office, the most recent poll putting him at 38% or 42%,...
Oct 19, 20211 min read
Social Media Removes Health-related Biblical References
Social media has stepped up its censorship of “disinformation” regarding COVID-19 jabs to include any biblical reference about health....
Oct 15, 20211 min read
Entire St Lawrence’s Parish Arrested for Fasting
Chicago, IL – The entire parish of St Lawrence’s was arrested Sunday for fasting from mask-wearing. “We don’t just fast during Lent,”...
Oct 7, 20212 min read
Asian Teenager Invokes “Science” to Finally Convince Parents
San Francisco, CA – Park Ji-eun, 14, finally convinced her parents that she was really sick and allow her to not go to school. “Normally,...
Oct 5, 20211 min read
Opinyun’s Magic Cards (17–20)
Time for cards 17–20!
Oct 1, 20211 min read
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