Washington DC – On Wednesday, during a speech about the health effects of oil refineries and power stations, President Biden stated that he has cancer.
It is unclear whether Biden understood the context of his own speech.
“Washington is… is umm… an oil refinery and power station, it’s where that slippery stuff and power are,” said Biden. “That’s why I’ve been there for decades… because I love power… and being slippery… and that’s why I’m a cancer to the country and the world. End of quote. Repeat the line: I’m a cancer to the world.”
The White House clarified that the president in fact “does not have cancer and is certainly not a cancer to the world”.
“How can he [Biden] be a cancer to the world if he doesn’t even know what planet he’s on?” said a White House staffer. “Someone like Hillary or Pelosi has that honor.”
Be sure to subscribe to our mailing list so you get each new Opinyun that comes out!