Matrix Reboot Has Morpheus Offer Abortion Pills

Hollywood, CA – The Matrix will be rebooted with the character of Morpheus offering the character of Neo abortion pills.

“It’s important to inject the abortion discussion into the new film,” said producer Lilly Wachowski. “And just so that we’re not seen as rampantly racist, both pills will be gray, neither black nor white.”

When asked how that will work without the distinction of red and blue, Wachowski answered, “Oh, it doesn’t matter, both pills will kill the subject in their pod or while going down the tube. It is meant to be an abortion pill.”

Wachowski, however, will not spoil the film by revealing whether Neo himself will be pregnant.

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