Biden: Employment Figures Up from 2 to 10!

Washington DC – President Joe Biden said on Friday that his economic plan is “going according to plan”.


“The Labor Department reported and I quote that… that the figures are… are… umm up,” said Biden. “They have gone up from 2 to 10 because some fool blew up the Georgia Guidestones and umm… we needed to hire a few fellas to clean up the mess. End of quote.”


When queried who the two already-employed individuals are, Vice President Kabbala Harris laughed at the question before answering that “one is the President’s ice-cream maker and the other helps him go to the toilet after he’s finished.”


Despite the improvement, the president admits that there are difficulties ahead. “I know times are tough and all that but things will progress and… and although I’ve been selling our oil reserves to the Chinese, the prices will soon drop to something lower than Pelosi’s age.”


In other news, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has not called for the impeachment of Biden.


 

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