Pyongyang, North Korea – In a brilliant display of firepower, North Korea lobbed over 200 artillery shells near South Korea’s Yeon Pyeong Island on Friday.
“Our benevolent leader Kim Jong-un in his wisdom ordered the artillery drills to ensure our soldiers are always at peak condition,” said a spokesman for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.
The North Korean government also denied that Yeon Pyeong Island was in danger as their soldiers and equipment were “totally accurate and wasn’t really aiming at the island”.
“Our leader also ordered the drills to demonstrate our power,” said the spokesman, “I mean, the imbecilic West has given all their artillery shells, bullets, APCs, boots and slippers to Ukraine. Even the South has ‘lent’ half a million shells to the United States. Meanwhile, we actually have something to fire.”
In other news, the North Korean government will not waste resources installing tampon dispensers in men’s toilets as “tampons can be loaded into just about any barrel and fired at the enemy”.
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