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Palpatine Did Not See “Confirmed Pictures of Jedi Beheading Children”

Palpatine Did Not See “Confirmed Pictures of Jedi Beheading Children”

Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine said on Wednesday that he had seen “confirmed pictures of Jedi beheading children” all over Coruscant following claims that up to forty children had been butchered over the weekend.

“I never really thought that I would see confirmed pictures of a Jedi beheading children,” said Palpatine. “This attack was pure cruelty, not just hate which I don’t have problems with, but pure cruelty.”

However, neither the chancellor or other high-level officials have seen any independently confirmed images or reports of beheaded children, his office later clarified.

The reports of slaughtered children were first circulated on Tuesday when a clone trooper told Galactic News Service: “We went door to door and we killed a lot of Jedi. And I personally saw a Jedi cut down a bunch of children.”

The Republican Army initially confirmed the clone trooper’s report but then said on Wednesday that “we cannot officially confirm the story but you can still assume that it’s true, especially all the bad stuff about the Jedi”.

During the latest press conference, when asked specifically about the dead younglings at the Jedi Temple and why the Jedi would kill their own, Palpatine did not respond but simply vowed retaliation against “the Jedi terrorists”.

“Our response will reverberate with them for generations,” he said. “And that’s if there is a next generation for them.”


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