Melbourne, Australia – Optus is still trying to determine the cause of today’s nation-wide outage of its mobile phone network and internet.
Senator Sio Bibble suspects the cause to be more than a technical fault: “A communications disruption can mean only one thing: invasion.”
Bibble noted that when he looked out the window, he did not see any droid army landing crafts. Nevertheless, Bibble stands by his suspicions.
“Just because we didn’t see ships in the air doesn’t mean we aren’t surrounded by droids,” he said. “I mean, look around, people are like wide-eyed mouth-breathers. Their phones aren’t working and they don’t have cash, they’re just wandering aimlessly saying, ‘Roger roger’.”
Chancellor Palpatine, on the other hand, is not as concerned. “I’m using Telstra so I can still issue Order 66, not that I need to because the so-called deep state is well-established in Australia.”
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