Melbourne, Australia – Representative Jar Jar Binks has proposed an amendment to the Public Health and Wellbeing Act which will grant totalitarian “pandemic management” powers to the current government.
The bill will permit just about anything to be considered “a disease of pandemic potential” as well as the government to impose just about any rule.
“Dellow felegates, meesa don’t want people to be sick,” said Jar Jar. “Meesa propose the Premier be granted totalitarian powers to deal with theesa threat.”
Senator Padme is appalled by the proposal. “I knew I shouldn’t have let that stupid Gungan speak on my behalf—should have had him vaccinated months ago. Anyway, the Victorian Government has already been relying too much on emergency powers. This bill practically does away with even those safeguards.”
Some officials have labeled the senator’s comments as “racist” and “conspiracy theory”.
Premier Andrews, however, has reassured Victorians. “It is with great reluctance that this bill is even discussed. I love democracy. I love Victoria. But I need unlimited power to deal with this deadly disease.”
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