Hockey Player Confused When Fan Confuses Him for a Right-Wing Extremist
- Little Boy
- 5 days ago
- 1 min read
St Paul, MN – A young hockey defenseman was called out for being a “right-wing extremist” for occasionally playing as a right winger.
St Paul Smashers’ Colin McSorley, 12, was confused by the label. “I’m not sure where that came from… I mean, I try to be a useful two-way player,” he said.
A number of spectators screamed incoherently whenever the Smashers utilized their transition game with McSorley momentarily playing as a forward. According to those nearby, they were protesting that McSorley’s extra skating causes warming, thus melting the ice.
McSorley initially mistook the protests for crying babies.
“Well, I insist on being a two-way player,” he said. “I’m not one of those useless left-wingers who just cycles repeatedly or shoots and misses and then crashes the net, knocking it off its moorings.”
Meanwhile, the Professional Hockey Aspirant Guild (PHAG) issued a statement regarding spectator and player conduct: “We don’t care what kind of ‘transition’ game players prefer as long as spectators don’t threaten to glue themselves to the ice. It’s ice, so water might work better anyway, stupid.”
McSorley went on to say that he is not particularly interested in politics. “Every weekend there’s some kind of protest going on,” he said. “I just want to pursue my dream of playing in the NHL… I mean, if the Panthers can win the Cup, then anything is possible, right?”
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