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Disney to Reboot All Star Wars Films

Los Angeles, CA – Given the recent losses Disney suffered, it has announced that it will remake all Star Wars films.

“I know some people are upset that we have been too woke,” said a Disney spokesperson, “but we think we possibly haven’t gone woke enough. Besides, The Last Jedi was utter s— however one looks at it.”

The schedule is yet to be confirmed but below are the titles.

A New Pronoun
The Queer Strikes Back
Return of the Groomer
The Pro-Life Menace
Attack of the Cops
Revenge of the Cis
The Fags Awaken
The Last Abortion
The Rise of Monkeypox
Roe Won

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