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Disney to Reboot All Star Wars Films

Los Angeles, CA – Given the recent losses Disney suffered, it has announced that it will remake all Star Wars films.

“I know some people are upset that we have been too woke,” said a Disney spokesperson, “but we think we possibly haven’t gone woke enough. Besides, The Last Jedi was utter s— however one looks at it.”

The schedule is yet to be confirmed but below are the titles.

A New Pronoun

The Queer Strikes Back

Return of the Groomer

The Pro-Life Menace

Attack of the Cops

Revenge of the Cis

The Fags Awaken

The Last Abortion

The Rise of Monkeypox

Roe Won


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